Reoriented Hope

In my devotional today, the topic was hope. The author of this devotional listed out five things we should know about hope and this one sliced me to the core: "Hope, to be hope, has to fix what is broken. Hope that does not address your needs isn't very hopeful. You only place hope in your mechanic only if he has the ability to fix what's broken on your car."

"Hope, to be hope, has to fix what is broken. Hope that does not address your needs isn't very hopeful" (place sobbing emoji here)--- as I was journaling and pondering this today, it became clear that my heart needed to be reoriented back to the end goal: Jesus. Recently, my soul has been down, focusing on what I don't have here on earth and believing somehow if I did have those things, suddenly my problems would be solved. I've been in this thought loop before and it's not a new pattern. Each time I work through it though, the longing for redemption seems to be deeper and my endurance of faith in Jesus is tested even more.

I find often there is a disconnect between my head and my heart. My brain knows through trials and past experiences that nothing will satisfy me on this earth. I can have all the things in the world, but if Jesus is not one of them, I have nothing. If I have Jesus, I have everything, regardless of the worldly things I have. The area of my heart the Lord highlighted today was my tendency to look at others and what they have. I've been recently faced with some past memories of pain in some relationships that are no more. My pain? Seeing them getting what I've longed for and do not have; grieving that the redemption I hoped for, didn't happen as I thought it would. Pain blurring my vision of my destination, my heart has been angry, seeking some sort of justice or honestly, wanting them to suffer in this life, as I have. Lord forgive me, for I know that the bent of my heart isn't right.

Sigh. And so He reorients my heart toward Him again.

Today my prayer is based on Psalm 23:

"Lord, I know You are my Shepherd and that I lack nothing. Help me believe this with my whole heart. As You make me lie down in green pastures, help me truly rest. As You lead me beside quiet waters, help me let You in, so that You can refresh my soul, as only You can do. As You guide me along the right paths for your name sake...give me wisdom, discernment and courage to listen and obey, even if it is uncomfortable. As I walk through dark valleys in my heart, remind me that You are with me, that You are my comfort and that Your gentle correction is Your grace. Keep my eyes on You, as You prepare a table for me. Highlight Your goodness and love to me, every day I live, so that I don't lose heart. I praise You Lord, because of Your grace, I will dwell with You forever and that begun the moment I believed." Amen